My personal trainer during my boxing session last night: “I want your arms and shoulders to be sore tomorrow.” Me, taking a shower this morning: -Bev…
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Target clerk at customer service: “And is there anything wrong with it?” Me: “No. My mom gave it to me…” Target clerk: “Oh.” She knew. But MamaG- I kept the pants…
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Trader Joe’s clerk: “Do you want me to leave this (heavy item) out and put the rest in a single bag, or double bag everything?” Bev: “Double bag everything, please.” Clerk: “It’s…
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After a restless night last night1, my Thursday started out with a shitload of Diet Coke and even more dry shampoo (what’s the next step up from a shitload?) From there,…
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I just wanted to add a few details to my post from last night. I didn’t do so last night because a) that post was long as shit… b) I was…
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I’ve been absent. Blend up some technical difficulties on my post from last Friday (which was then never published), with unexpected (non-drinking induced) vomitus in the middle of the night on…
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Guys. It’s April 5th. On May 5th, Bev flies to Cancun for a long Mexican weekend. I feel like we should make a “Bevsico1 Bingo” card. Now taking suggestions as to…
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It’s my last day of spring break, and you’re probably thinking that I’m out, trying to find the bottom of bottomless mimosas. Actually, I’m in my PJs on my couch, waiting…
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It’s 3:00 in the morning now, but by the time you read this, Bev will (hopefully) be having breakfast with a good friend in Chicago, then being dropped off at her…
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My dad stepped in poop in Target on Sunday, and I saw a homeless woman urinating in the street yesterday. Stay safe out there today, guys. -Bev …