F.A.F.

Well, friends, the time has come. I’ve dwindled to the end of the funny animal photos that I found in my phone about two years ago, and I’ve decided to lay Funny Animal Friday to rest.

Could I carry on F.A.F. with reader submissions, and look for new/more funny animal photos? I could. But you know what they say… if it don’t fit, don’t force it. F.A.F. has been one of my favorite parts of www.beverlygoldenstein.com, and while a part of me is sad to see it go, I know deep down that if I tried to continue, it wouldn’t be authentic. It would be me, drunk on Thursday night, or at 5 a.m. Friday morning, slapping up the first/only quasi-funny photo of an animal that I can find. You don’t want that. I don’t want that. We don’t want that, guys.

Please know that the F.A.F.s that I have posted were from the heart. They were my gift(s) to you. We’ll always have F.A.F., guys.

And without further ado, I bring you the final Funny Animal Friday.

He’s one of the originals. He’s one of my favs. And he’s the best way I can think of to end this special time in my life.

-Bev

I’ll never let go, F.A.F.

It’s been a while since I’ve posted a Funny Animal Friday, and if I’m being 100% honest, it’s because I am down to my last few original F.A.F. pictures from my phone, and I a) can’t decide in which order to use them and b) I don’t want this party to end.

I know, I know, there are thousands- millions– of funny animal photos online. But it wouldn’t be authentic. It wouldn’t be Bev. It wouldn’t be the original forty eight photos I dug up out of my camera roll. So, I bring you this week’s F.A.F., my friends, but please know that the future of F.A.F. is up in the air. I’m going to talk to God about it, and I’ll let you know what He tells me to do. I’m also going to talk to my credit union to see if I want to pay for another year of web hosting¹, or if this here website is also possibly going to be gone for good. I gotta tell ya, folks… Bevvy G doesn’t exactly have the extra cash laying around to fund this shitshow of a life blog, and, well, Coors Light hasn’t offered up that sponsorship yet. However, it pains me to delete all of this hard work, and to leave www.beverlygoldenstein.com vacant. I’mma see what JC says on that one too. (JC as in Jesus Christ, not JC Chasez of *NSYNC)

OK, I’m going to put all of my feelings away and get right down to it.

I won’t tell you that the reason I chose this pic for this week is because I think I effed up my right wrist in a kickboxing class. I also won’t tell you that I found out just how sore/effed up it was on Thanksgiving evening when I went bowling with my family. And I definitely won’t tell you about how my family’s favorite Thanksgiving tradition is bowling.

Happy Friday, y’all.

Life is like a case o’beer. You never know how drunk you’ll get.

-Bev

¹I have no idea what would actually happen if I stop paying for the blog. Do I own beverlygoldenstein.com? Will all of my content go away? Will I still exist, and have a birthday, fingerprints, and a charred liver? I need to call on my more technical girls for some help here. Edith and Nina Applebottom, shoot your girl a text. We gots to figure this out before mid-January.

And, because… in all seriousness, who can say no to Forrest?

YouTube credit: jwoods813

Today, I am thankful for reaching waaaaaaay back into my arsenal of funny animal photos and posting an old favorite.

I’m also thankful that my girl, Edith, is here for the weekend. She loves Coors Light and MyTeam as much as I do, and we are currently drinking electrolyte water in preparation to go watch the game. Champagne and Coors Light on deck. Bless up!

-Bev

Well, conference college football season starts tomorrow, and Bev couldn’t be more excited. OK, I probably could if MyTeam had had a better start to the season, but I’m still pretty damned excited. Most of you who read this blog have actually experienced this firsthand, but if you would like to know what watching a football game with Bev is like, see the video below. I think you’ll quickly figure out which one is me.

Click here to check it out.

-Bev

The first half of this Funny Animal Friday has been planned for a while, and I’ve been excited to bring it to you.

If you’ve been reading Bev for a while, then you’ve been introduced to Dave. Dave is a cousin of my friend, Petunia Smalls, and one of my favorite animals, mostly due to the fact that she is a female named Dave.

And also, because she wears outfits like this:

I mean, that’s a Jansport backpack, guys. Bev doesn’t have a Jansport backpack. Dave, you damn hipster, you!

Now, with all of that being said, the second half of this post comes as a complete shock, and a real blow to the F.A.F. community.

I received a text earlier this week from my good pal, Petunia, that Dave has passed onto Hamster Heaven. Or Guinea Pig Heaven. Maybe Gerbil Heaven? I really have no clue, but the point here is: Dave is gone. Of course, she’s in a better place, but that doesn’t make it easier on any of us down here. Rest in Peace, Dave.

I’d like to invite you all to take a moment to remember Dave. Dave was a loyal hamster. Or guinea pig or gerbil. Dave made a great pilgrim, and Dave had impeccable taste in red wine.

Savor your memories of Dave, my friends. For she is was a female named Dave.

Petunia Smalls and family, our hearts go out to you.

-Bev

P.S.- in lieu of flowers, please send cases of white wine to:

Beverly Goldenstein
35 NorthWest Silver Bullet Boulevard
MyCity, USA 12345

It’s what Dave would’ve wanted.

Fakeout Funny Animal Friday.

Bev’s in her college town, folks. I’m typing this up Thursday night, and well… sometimes you just have to take the words of Drake:

-Beverly I’mOffMyTwentyEightDayCleanseWhichWasActuallyATwentySixDayCleanse Goldenstein

I always read this in the “Cave of Wonders” (Aladdin) voice.

I’m not scared- you’re scared.

-Bev

1:58 mark…

YouTube Credit: Nicole Rey

This is also me when woken up. Now you’re even more scared.

FOR THE LOVE OF GOD.

-Bev

No, that’s not Queen Elizabeth. It’s Maggie, Fawn’s childhood dog. Wearing gloves, a piano scarf, and a hat.

On a floral couch or comforter?

OK, ladies, now let’s get in formation!

-Bev

I vividly remember petting this seal at Sea World when I was about seven or eight. 

I also vividly remember not being able to wait to get home to give myself (hands, arms up to elbows) a thorough scrub-down. These were pre-hand sanitizer days… (which I can’t use anyways because of my hyperhidrosis. That’s another post.)

The OCD is real. The OCD has been real.

-Bev