Mayberry Monikers

One of my favorite things about Mayberry is the citizens’ names. Whether they are real (like Verbena Halfwassen) or nicknames (like Smoke), I just find them humorous, and I really think you would too. The problem here is that I use very few “real” names here on BG, for fear of a) outing my real identity (and losing my day job, and my ability to stalk people on Instagram under an alias) and b) embarrassing folks.

Now, I know I’ve probably embarrassed a person or two here in the past, but it’s all in good fun (#Mouse #Smoke #SpotSue).  I’d love to share all the funny names and nicknames of the Mayberrians (and the surrounding towns), but I don’t want to earn a new nickname of The Village Bitch, so I will only share a few favorites (and I will keep the backstories to a minimum).

Favorite Mayberry nicknames (and some from surrounding towns):

Dutch and Torch (a married couple)

Lefty (Edith and Myrtle’s grandpa)

Skid Loader (a woman in town- also a piece of small farm machinery, for you non-farmers)

Smoke (duh)

Mouse (duh x2)

Woz (not sure you’ve heard of him yet- a good family friend)

Poop and Cry (a set of brothers, nicknamed this way by their father, because “all they did was poop and cry”)

I don’t know that many, so I asked MamaG for some other good ones. “Well, Weiner and Little Weiner. Pickles. He’s from back in the day. Tex. Tweet and Little Tweet. Ask your dad. He knows ’em all.”

So I take myself inside and find Smoke, who immediately asks if I “need him” so I inform him of my Mayberry nickname mission: “What? Real ones from around here? (like we need to make this stuff up, Dad?) Well, up on the hill… (that’s Smoke Speak for dead/in the cemetery) Windy. That was _______. Thunder Lung and Mega Mouth up in Garner. (where we lived until we moved back to Mayberry when Bev was in 3rd grade) _____ was Tumor.” (chuckles to himself)

Then he and MamaG turn this into a conversation and I can’t even type fast enough as they popcorn off each other, and then mention one certain class that had a lot of nicknames, including Fox, Motor, Slob, Blob, Big Syph¹ and Little Syph, and Kaboobies.

I walk back out to the porch where I’m typing up my post when he yells, “Benny Rabbit,” as I walk out the door. Then he comes outside. “Then we got Honker.” (I literally had to stop him there, as I couldn’t remember the ones they’d already said, and this post would’ve never been finished and published. (Don’t worry my dear BevHive; I’ll start keeping a running list of new ones, and I’m sure Smoke and MamaG [and other Mayberrians who read this post when it goes live] will start remembering more).

And, finally, I’ve got to pay homage to my absolute fav, who happens to be in my parents’ house right now (long story that can’t be shared for fear of blowing my cover)

Walking Eagle (also known as Walkin’ Eag…)

Now, I don’t know where all of these names come from, but I do know that one.

Walking Eagle… ‘cuz he’s too full o’shit to fly.

You’re welcome.

-Bev

¹Bev:”Wait, how do you spell that?” (thinking sith? sieve? sif?)
Smoke: “Well, it’s short for syphilis. You tell us. We never wrote it.”