MonetG?

As much as I like to visit, it’s not often that I wish I lived back in Mayberry. I have grown accustomed to the “city life” and don’t ever see myself living more than 5 miles from a sushi restaurant, a Target, a grocery store, or a bar. However, I would give almost anything to be in Mayberry this weekend, for many reasons.

1. Fireworks. And, yes, I know that everywhere has fireworks. I prefer my explosives to be shot off mere blocks from where I parked my car, and in close proximity to the Henning House. Ain’t nobody got time for Ubers to get to, and crowds to watch with, OK?
2. Aunt Sue and Uncle Bart’s pool. Again, can I find a pool in MyCity? Of course I can, you fool. But is it free? No. Is it near a fridge full of cold beer (sometimes stocked by me, but mostly stocked by Aunt Sue)? No. Is there a potential that I could try to shoot some birds? No.
3. Mayberry Mania. There are some events that epitomize small Midwestern towns happening in Mayberry this weekend. A carnival hosted by the Mayberry Library, probably a firemen’s pancake breakfast, most likely some outdoor church services and the like. Goddamn, I’d love to get my hands on some pancakes and little smokies made by the Mayberry volunteer firefighters, but that’s not going to happen this year for the 4th. However, I’d like to realign your attention on the Mayberry Library carnival. Now, I have to give a little shoutout to the Mayberry Library here. I can’t give out too much information without revealing the actual location of Mayberry (the firemen and the library ain’t ready for the crowds, y’all), but it’s a sweet little library, and many of my friends and family members are involved/on the board/volunteer/donate, etc. (MamaG was even the Library Board President for a while, guys.) Bev is still a card-holding member of the library, and often utilizes it for its books and movies when she’s home (Library card #543 if anyone is wondering). Anyhoo, the real reason I wish I was back in Mayberry today has to do with the carnival. As I just mentioned, a lot of my friends and family members are involved with the library. And today? It’s all hands on deck for the event. I mean, they’ve got a petting zoo (literally just animals from people’s farms- none of this “rent a pony” shit), hot dogs, inflatable shit, and face painting. And guess who I just talked to who was headed “into town” to paint faces? You guessed it! The one and only MamaG! I laughed so hard I nearly lost my bath towel on our FaceTime chat, and she rolled her eyes, but promised to send me some pictures of her artwork. Mayberry friends and fam: please document these masterpieces and send them my way!

Go get ’em, MonetG!

-Bev